Ed Gabrielsen

I learned meditation from teachers. And my teachers, in turn, learned it from their teachers. In the practice of sitting meditation, learning and doing go together. Learning, doing, and then, teaching others: these are three things that combine in a life oriented toward meditation. My teachers learned how to practice meditation. They received instruction from their teachers. And then, they practiced. Eventually, through practice, the things they learned became their own. The next step was learning how to teach.

Teaching meditation is not the same as practicing meditation. Teaching requires both scholarship and realization, that is, realization is followed by the acquisition of language skills–ways of talking about meditation experience, and substantial scholarly study of contemplative literature and root texts.

There is an experience. And then, there is talking about the experience. My teachers learned how to use language to help their students. These things are not easy. It is not easy to meditate. Nor is it easy to to find the words to talk or write about meditation. But, because they saw something of value in it, they learned. They wanted to do this thing. This thing called meditation and teaching meditation. I am grateful to them, my teachers. Grateful because what they learned, the time and dedication, the effort it required, has helped me in my own life. In fact, I think I could say without exaggeration, that meditation saved my life. Meditation, the practice of meditation, is a skill that I learned, and that skill has become a foundation for my life. Without it, I honestly do not think I would be here, alive, today. This may sound dramatic. But, for me, at least, it is true.

Meditation helped me inquire into questions I had about my life. There are so many questions. One of the big questions that came up for me, over and over, was “Who am I?” In the contemplative traditions, this is a central question. And, as I followed this question, it lead me to explore many different kinds of language, many different ways of articulating an answer. One of the articulations, one of the possible responses to the question, “Who am I,” is the response, “I am loving awareness.”

As loving awareness, I watch the events of life unfold. More than simply bare awareness, to be loving awareness implies a connection to the heart. Loving awareness is a poetic phrase. Loving awareness refers to more than the bare physiology of sensation. Rather, loving awareness is an engagement of the heart. I think, when we begin to talk about these things, when we search for the words to articulate our experiences in meditation, we eventually find that the language of poetry is most fitting. We return to poetry as most descriptive.

I am grateful to my teachers. They are all poets. They taught me their poetry. And they continue to do so. Here is one of my favorite teachers, Jack Kornfield, who has devoted his whole life to this orientation, the orientation of learning, practicing and teaching meditation. In a recent article titled, “Retreat is a Benevolent Rest,”¹ he writes about his experiences during a twelve day retreat, using the language of “loving awareness. He writes, “And in the midst of it, growing stronger, the vast, still refuge of loving awareness itself, the spacious witnessing of the dance of life, ineluctable, ever-changing, precious, empty and full, bringing compassion and courage and tenderness.”

Dear Jack Kornfield, I have followed your work ever since I first heard about you many years ago. I read your books. I listened to your audio recordings. Over and over. I felt that there was something there, in the sound of your voice, the words, and the silence. Something sincere and heartfelt. Reading you, I followed the connections in your writing that led to your teachers and colleagues, especially Ajahn Chah. I read their work. All these things have enriched my life beyond measure. I can never repay you. I can only say thank you. Thank you, Jack Kornfield. And thank you to all my teachers, to all the teachers who have devoted their lives to living in this particular way, and to articulating the truths you have discovered, your poetry. I am grateful, every day.

¹Jack Kornfield, “Retreat is Benevolent Rest,” https://jackkornfield.com/retreat-is-a-benevolent-rest/?fbclid=IwAR0dcXUFifYrFOuXX5F4VSn40K1ng_UaXES1FmaU5_Q8DxGXoarimgqZOAg, accessed April 4, 2022