Ed Gabrielsen

In 1886, Austrian physicist and philosopher Ernst Mach sketched a self-portrait that appeared in his book, The Analysis of Sensations. It takes a minute to recognize what is going on in the sketch because it’s not what you think. It’s not the usual self-portrait.

The question, “Who am I?” is a very important question. For many people, this question is the beginning of spiritual inquiry. When you look in a mirror and see yourself, is the image in the mirror really you? If you look in the mirror long enough, the idea that the thing in the mirror is “you” begins to seem somehow inaccurate. And yet, when most artists paint their self-portrait, they paint their own face as it would appear in a mirror, or as it would appear to other people looking at them.

This is a famous self-portrait by Albrecht Durer. The artist portrays himself from the point of view that another person would have of him. And yet, is this really a self portrait? To paint a portrait of the self, the artist must make a decision regarding the self. What is it, really? What is the self and how does one paint a portrait of oneself? This is actually a very difficult question to answer.

Albrecht Durer paints what he sees in the mirror. But in the drawing by Ernst Mach, the artist shows us his experience of himself as he experiences himself in that moment. Ernst is showing us that our experience of self is different from the way others experience us. There is a fascinating paradox here that is difficult to capture in language. Take some time to reflect on these two self-portraits and then consider the question, “Who am I?” once again. There is something here available for discovery that is quite liberating and fruitful.