Ed Gabrielsen

First Letter.

First Letter.

In 1993, I was living in Tucson, Arizona. I was a student at the University of Arizona, and I had just started sitting with a Buddhist meditation group. It was a group in the lineage of Chogyam Trungpa, Rinpoche: the Karma Kagyu. I became interested in Tibetan Buddhism because of an article I happened to read in the newspaper. The article was about H.H. the Dalai Lama talking about the Chinese invasion of Tibet and the Tibetan diaspora. The Dalai Lama referred to the Chinese as “My friends.” He was asked if he hated the Chinese, and he said no. He referred to them as his friends.

I could not understand this. How could he not hate the Chinese soldiers or the Chinese government who had invaded Tibet?

At the time, I was very unhappy. More than anything, I wanted to be peaceful. I wanted to find peace in my life. How could this man from Tibet be peaceful? How could he not hate anyone?

When I read that article, I knew there must be something going on. There must be some secret in Tibetan Buddhism, some wonderful magic, some esoteric spiritual teaching that could solve all my problems. The Tibetans knew something. The Dalai Lama knew something.

I wanted to find out what it was.

So, I started sitting with the local Tibetan Buddhist group. It just happened to be a group in Trungpa’s lineage. I had never heard about any of it.

The group was led by Doug Pittman. There were five or six regulars in the group. We met at the Quaker House on Monday nights. We sat for an hour in silence. They called it “Shamatha.” At first, I couldn’t sit in meditation for that long. I had no idea what to do with myself. It was painful, both physically and mentally. I couldn’t stand the noise in my mind.

But it got better. I found that I could do it. I could sit on a cushion for 60 minutes. Sitting in silence, paying attention to my breathing. Slowly, I carved out a few moments of peace.

I wanted more.

I read everything I could find by Chogyam Trunpa. And I talked to people in the group. Doug was so helpful. He taught me a great deal and I remember him with gratitude. He was my first Buddhist teacher. We discussed many books and teachings. He brought me into the Dharma and he encouraged me in my meditation practice.

After a few month of meeting with the Dharma study group, Doug invited me to go with him to the prison where he was leading a meditation group. For about a year, I went with him every month to visit the prison and sit with the men in the Buddhist meditation group.

Doug also introduced me to Lopon Claude Philippe d’Estree, a Buddhist teacher in Tucson. I attended teachings given by Claude, and he offered Buddhist Refuge. I took my first refuge vows with him in 1993. He was a direct disciple of Tenzin Gyatso, H.H. the Dalai Lama. I often would see Claude around town. He was a leader in the growing Buddhist community in Tucson. Later, I learned that he had a PhD in comparative religion from Harvard, and was appointed the first Buddhist chaplain of Harvard University. I am grateful to him for bringing me into the Dharma.

One day, Doug told me there would be a Tibetan monk visiting Tucson, giving Buddhist teachings and offering refuge. The teachings were offered at a local yoga studio. The place was packed. I went to the teachings, held over several days, and I saw Khenchen for the first time. (At the time, he was “Khenpo”) I watched him carefully and closely, and I realized that he had something. He knew something. He was the real thing. He was at peace. I wanted what he had. I wanted to know what he knew. I took Buddhist Refuge with him, and I fell in love with him. I asked to be his student, and he accepted me.

That year, as I had for many years, I struggled with feelings of lonelinss. I wrote to Khenpo, telling him that I felt lonely. I felt so alone and isolated. He wrote back to me. It was the first letter he wrote to me. The first of many in our long correspondence.

What he said in his letter turned out to be true in my experience. The Dharma is my best friend. The Dharma is the remedy for my confusion. I am not lonely anymore.

Here is the letter.

Dear Ed,
Thank you for your letter. I am very pleased that you are sincere in the precious and holy Dharma. If you make friend with Dharma. Dharma is your best friend. Dharma is true medicine for remedy of our confusion. Dharma is the true light which can dispel our inner ignorant darkness. So rely on dharma and cultivate bodhicitta and practice Chenre-zik, Vajrasattva and the six paramitas. Then you may not feel lonely. if you need help to understand more meaning of Dharma, let me know.

I have been well and busy at the Center sometime giving teachings and instruction on meditation. We have here lots of snow on the ground and very bitter cold these day. It looks like this whole winter will be very cold. Take good care of yourself.

Quotes from Drigung Dharma Radza:
“Birth, old age, sickness, and death are like fish struggling on hot sand.
Their fierce torment and suffering are intolerable.
Apart from Dharma, nothing will help.
This is my heart’s advice.”

“The supreme mind of bodhicitta is like an unspoiled seed.
Without it, it is impossible to achieve perfect enlightenment.
Therefore, cherish the cultivation of the mind of Mahayana.
This is my heart’s advice.”

“The instruction of the Illusory body is like a reflection of the moon in the water.
It destroys attachment to ordinary appearance,
the eight wordly concerns, and self-grasping.
It is the foundation of the path.
This is my heart’s advice.”

With warm heart and sincerely,

Khenpo Konchog Gyaltshen,

SARVA MANGALAM